For ten years, my husband, Kevin, and I dreamed of the day someone would call us Mom and Dad. We tried everything: fertility treatments, injections, endless doctor\u2019s appointments. I still remember sitting on the bathroom floor after yet another negative test, crying so hard I could barely breathe.<\/p>\n
But every single time, Kevin was right there beside me. Every time, he held my hand and told me everything would be okay and that one day our dream would finally come true.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know what I would have done without his support.<\/p>\n
And then a miracle happened.<\/p>\n
I finally got pregnant.<\/p>\n
I was holding that test with two lines on it, and Kevin practically carried me around in his arms for half the day.<\/p>\n
God, we were so happy.<\/p>\n
A little while later, we found out we were expecting twins. Our baby girls.<\/p>\n
Kevin repainted the room, assembled the cribs himself, and picked out the stroller.<\/p>\n
And I felt like an absolute queen.<\/p>\n
He was constantly taking care of me. He always brought me warm tea, my favorite caramel-filled chocolate bar, and took care of everything around the house.<\/p>\n
But toward the end of my pregnancy, I was scheduled for a C-section.<\/p>\n
That morning, Kevin drove me to the hospital.<\/p>\n
After some tests, the medical team discovered a complication, and I had to be put under general anesthesia.<\/p>\n
I was terrified, but all I could think about was that I was finally going to meet my babies.<\/p>\n
The last thing I remember was being wheeled into the operating room.<\/p>\n
Then everything went dark.<\/p>\n
When I opened my eyes, a nurse was standing beside my bed<\/p>\n
\u201cCongratulations, Mom! You have two beautiful baby girls. They\u2019re both doing well.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then very carefully, the nurse helped me hold my babies. I kissed their tiny heads and couldn\u2019t stop smiling.<\/p>\n
Then I looked around.<\/p>\n
Kevin was nowhere to be seen.<\/p>\n
I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and called him several times. He didn\u2019t answer.<\/p>\n
Then, in a quiet voice, I asked the nurse:<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me, have you seen my husband?\u201d<\/p>\n
The smile disappeared from her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll get the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few minutes later, my doctor walked in.<\/p>\n
I carefully asked him:<\/p>\n
\u201cDoctor, I\u2019m sorry, but do you know where my husband is? Has he seen the babies yet?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor looked at me strangely.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, your husband saw the babies\u2026 You really don\u2019t know why he left?\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart started pounding.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about? Where\u2019s Kevin?\u201d<\/p>\n
The doctor pulled a chair closer to my bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhile you were still asleep after the surgery, Kevin came to talk to me. He told me something I absolutely wasn\u2019t expecting to hear.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did he say?\u201d<\/p>\n
PART 2
\nAfter 10 Years of Trying, I Woke From My C-Section to Meet Our Twin Girls, but My Husband Was Gone and Wouldn\u2019t Answer His Phone
\n\u201cThe long phone charger,\u201d I said, perched on the edge of the bed with both hands on my belly. \u201cI didn\u2019t pack it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSide pocket.\u201d Kevin knelt by the hospital bag. \u201cCharger, slippers, that lavender lotion you pretend you don\u2019t love.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSocks?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTwo pairs. The fuzzy ones.\u201d He zipped the pocket, then pulled something from under the clothes, grinning like a kid. \u201cAnd this. For afterward.\u201d<\/p>\n
It was my caramel-filled chocolate bar. The gold wrapper crinkled in his fingers, and I laughed so hard the girls kicked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re ridiculous,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m prepared. There\u2019s a difference.\u201d<\/p>\n
His phone buzzed on the dresser. He glanced at the screen, and his shoulders sank a little.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
He put her on speaker.<\/p>\n
\u201cKevin, darling, I\u2019ve been thinking,\u201d she said, her voice sweet as cough syrup. \u201cI\u2019ll come stay after the discharge. Someone has to help properly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks, Mom, but Carol\u2019s already coming. She\u2019ll be with us the whole recovery. It\u2019s all settled.\u201d<\/p>\n
A pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cCarol,\u201d his mother said. \u201cWell. How lovely for Carol.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI only meant it\u2019s lovely. Call me the second anything happens. I am the grandmother, after all.\u201d<\/p>\n
The line clicked off. I stared at the phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs she upset?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was Mom being Mom,\u201d Kevin said, rubbing the back of his neck.<\/p>\n
I let it go. It was our day.<\/p>\n
Later, when the bag was by the door and my coat was on, he went quiet. He stood in the nursery doorway, looking at the two white cribs he\u2019d built with his own hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I say something dumb?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly smart things allowed today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTen years.\u201d He swallowed. \u201cAll those needles. All those waiting rooms. The doctors said it plain, you know. It was me. My numbers.\u201d He hung his head. \u201cIf I\u2019d just been different, you wouldn\u2019t have had to go through any of it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I had heard him blame himself before. I hadn\u2019t expected to hear it today.<\/p>\n
I crossed the room and took his face in my hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cListen to me. I don\u2019t see our girls as something you failed to give me. They\u2019re ours. Your side, my side, a lab dish, and a whole lot of luck. We did this together.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For ten years, my husband, Kevin, and I dreamed of the day someone would call us Mom and Dad. We tried everything: fertility treatments, injections, endless doctor\u2019s appointments. I still … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7195,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-story"],"yoast_head":"\n